I was wrong. I was wrong for thinking I could heal the way that I
have. That I'm okay to go out and play with people just like you as if
it's not going to affect me'
.
How can it hurt so much to be separated from someone who hurt me so
much? I read somewhere that the abused woman forms an intense bond
with her abuser -- the trauma of the abuse somehow attaches her to
him. Is this the same? Last night i realized how much I missed the
touch feel smell of your skin. The attraction is chemical to some
degree. Blame the hormones. The logical reasoning is all there but
that chemical bond is intense and I know that it will take much more
work to rebound.

Today was one of many relapses to come. But one day I will not walk
around fearful n paranoid, even though in the back my mind Im hoping
to maybe see your face. I know it's wrong but in the case of love and
relationships.. Emotions are just how they are. We can't change them.
I miss you still. I'm sure you know this.