stuck in limbo

maybe, you thought, you could stick it out, but you tried.
and many tears later, you realize it is unreasonable, unfair and painful
torture, almost.

you realize just how finite time really is
and knowing that it is spent disproportionately,
with the more important things getting the bigger shares
you easily realize your place on the list of priorities
you feel the elation of being promoted up on the list
and eventually the frustration of being demoted
part of you understands, part of you doesn't
it's like the shiny new toy versus the good old standby
but overall, you know it's not enough

so you consider letting go
but you realize it means too much to give up
you can't.. and don't want to let it go
you know there is so much potential
and you want things to work so badly

actually, you could have what you want
but it's not ideal, more like a shadow of the real thing
so you could have what your heart really wants
but at the expense of some of your happiness.
could you ever realistically settle for that?

you wonder why words are so easy to say
but actions are so hard to execute
you believe in his big heart and good intentions
you try to take in those earnest words with good faith
but in the end, they must be legitimized with action
and if they aren't, then they don't really count.
no matter how sweet they were


it is so strange that two people can see things so differently
the other person may live carefree with time happily passing by
when you feel like you are playing a horrible waiting game
you wonder why you are suddenly at the wrong place, wrong time
when just a little while ago, you were at the right place, right time


there's no right way to go.
at the moment, there is no painless way either.
and there is probably no point in talking about it.
your heart says one thing, your reason says the opposite.
you're stuck in limbo.
and it's frustrating, heartbreaking.