how do you tell the difference between lack of passion and comfort?
how do you know if you've just settled versus gotten comfortable?
does no communication - no text, no call - mean he's not thinking of you?
am I not giving it a fair shot? Do i not see your progress?
Am i the one to blame or is this just a lost cause?
does the good outweigh the bad?
is the frustration justified by the happiness?
what if an honest effort on your part isn't even close to being enough for me?
you're afraid, but of what?
the pain of being lonely or the pain of losing me?
if it's the former, then you must go through it.
pain can be good. ironic as it sounds.
because the healing helps you close up chapters of your life.
maybe this chapter needs to be finished
don't lie and drag me through this.
you can make me happy
but you refuse to.
the greatest disappointment to date.
no longer can defend the pain of being with you
this time, this time for real
i'm looking out for myself.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Spring Sing Winner
I tell a lie when I can’t say nothing else
It’s better to keep quiet in the end
I got lost for a lack of a better word
And it became my second nature to pretend
People need to be needed
And I needed to know you needed me
Cuz when love comes along, well I can’t say no
And if nothing goes wrong, then I can’t let go
It’s the kind of addiction
The sort of affliction
And I can’t find a cure
~ taking it day by day. one thing i noticed is that i still feel the same emptiness as i did then.. not more, not less.. the same.
but i know that it's okay to feel like this, i'm supposed to feel this way now. it wasn't right to feel like this before. and i guess that's one of the only comforting aspects of it all.
they say big hearts break easy, but i strongly believe in the healing powers of time and the resilience of the heart. proud to say that there isn't much regret or hard feelings, just that quiet sorrow that is pretty standard in all endings, when you're learning to cope with it all fading away.
i gave it my all, and for most of the time, i felt rewarded for it. near the end, i felt as though my heart was standing alone. i still tried to live as "in the moment" as i could and appreciated every happy second. there were many of those... but now it's time to look out for myself and my future.
It’s better to keep quiet in the end
I got lost for a lack of a better word
And it became my second nature to pretend
People need to be needed
And I needed to know you needed me
Cuz when love comes along, well I can’t say no
And if nothing goes wrong, then I can’t let go
It’s the kind of addiction
The sort of affliction
And I can’t find a cure
~ taking it day by day. one thing i noticed is that i still feel the same emptiness as i did then.. not more, not less.. the same.
but i know that it's okay to feel like this, i'm supposed to feel this way now. it wasn't right to feel like this before. and i guess that's one of the only comforting aspects of it all.
they say big hearts break easy, but i strongly believe in the healing powers of time and the resilience of the heart. proud to say that there isn't much regret or hard feelings, just that quiet sorrow that is pretty standard in all endings, when you're learning to cope with it all fading away.
i gave it my all, and for most of the time, i felt rewarded for it. near the end, i felt as though my heart was standing alone. i still tried to live as "in the moment" as i could and appreciated every happy second. there were many of those... but now it's time to look out for myself and my future.
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